My name is India dunn
I am a beauty professional just like you who learned the hard way the effects burnout has on our businesses and lives.
I am a woman who has recovered from what Bill Wilson calls a “seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.” I was suffering from a gaping hole of spiritual malady that could not be filled by any amount of alcohol, nicotine, money, man or food.
I’m a mother; a role I thought I wasn’t going to fulfill in this lifetime and I’m in constant awe of it.
And I’m a wife to a man who made my dreams of partnership and parenthood a reality.
Actualizing a life that I didn’t know could exist has taken many moments of simply sitting in the bliss, letting it all wash over me so that I didn’t fuck it up. I’m also a bit of a control freak and have lived a life structured around survival and self will. When I was drinking my life was propelled by self will and I was in a seemingly endless tug of war, struggling to control my behaviors, you, him, her, life and alcohol.
My constructs of life gave me excuses to keep living in fear, drama and self absorbed denial. I knew I needed more in my life and that’s the shit part about some addicts and alcoholics: we can feel the urge to become more but it’s too overwhelming and scary to step up and take responsibility. Ultimately it was an overwhelming feeling of panic and self doubt that pushed me to stop. I was so “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” of being hung over and always trying to fix the messes I would create.
But this isn’t about how bad it was, this is about coming ALIVE. This is my story, and I love my story. Maybe if I had claimed sobriety and never accomplished anything I wouldn’t have a story, but I still believe recovery on its own is a fucking miracle. Yes, I am a miracle. You read that correctly. My life is a miracle and the more I acknowledge that and remind myself through telling others the more ALIVE I can be in the world. I feel most ALIVE when I’m sitting across from another human in a raw transaction of life. Sharing fear, love and all the beauty and messiness that’s in between. I feel (that’s the most important part) the REAL, and it’s not through a haze of self inflicted bondage. I’m not looking at you, the friend, the client, the mate, as a means to an end. I’m here and I want to be.
This is the truth and all the trinkets that go along with a diary of transparencies.
This is everything in between fear and love.
And being a hairdresser is a big part of the story…
There’s a spark within each of us, and as Howard Thurman says in the quote below, “ask what makes you come ALIVE”, and let us inspire each other.